9. Like a Normal Person, Not the Seed of a Beast
“Ugh!”
As she tried hard to hide her slightly swollen belly, Anette suddenly heard a strange noise.
That kind of uncouth sound couldn’t possibly come from the mouths of the Empress Dowager or the Empress, both paragons of noblewomanly grace…
Yet none of the court ladies standing stiffly like statues against the wall, whether from the Dowager’s quarters or the Empress’s entourage, showed any sign of having made a mistake.
As Anette rolled her eyes to trace the source of the sound, her gaze landed on something she couldn’t just ignore.
It was the Empress Dowager, gripping the handle of her teacup so tightly that the veins on the back of her hand stood out.
What could’ve upset her all of a sudden?
Just as Anette began to wonder, she gasped in realization.
“Oh no! When we were out on subjugation campaigns, we even shared dry biscuits, but now I’ve eaten all of this by myself?”
Surely, her brain had melted like sugar the moment those sweet desserts entered her mouth. Otherwise, how could she have kept mindlessly gobbling down whatever was offered…?
She had never considered herself particularly greedy with food, but now she had no choice but to admit it.
She simply hadn’t desired food before because everything she’d eaten had been tasteless.
Feeling a wave of regret, Anette picked up one of the few remaining intact cookies from the devastated tea table.
“Um, Your Majesty the Empress Dowager.”
The moment she called, a sharp gaze pierced her.
Anette squeezed her eyes shut and reached out her hand.
“This cookie… it’s really delicious. Please have one, Your Majesty.”
To others, it may have seemed like a small gesture, but for Anette, it took no small amount of courage.
For some strange reason, she genuinely wanted to be liked by the people of the Alcan Imperial Family.
Until now, she hadn’t cared how others saw or thought of her. In fact, she had survived by not caring.
‘Why am I…’
Was it really just for the sake of an alliance as a princess? Or was there some other reason? She didn’t even know herself.
But just as she cautiously opened her eyes—
“Ahk!”
The Empress Dowager’s face suddenly flushed red as she clutched her chest and collapsed to the side.
“Your Majesty?!”
“Your Majesty!”
As people rushed to her aid, Anette sprang to her feet, ready to help.
But Charlotte, sitting beside her, stopped her.
“You should go and rest now, Princess.”
Then she gestured to a nearby lady-in-waiting to escort Anette out.
The way she blocked Anette’s path made it look like she was deliberately preventing her from approaching the Empress Dowager.
Just like how the people of Hayworth Kingdom used to avoid her—calling her the cursed seed of a beast.
Unable to say a word, Anette could only follow the lady-in-waiting and leave the Dowager’s quarters.
“Princess?”
Anette, who had been following obediently, suddenly stopped in her tracks, prompting the lady ahead to turn back and ask.
“Princess, is something wrong?”
“Um…”
“Yes, please speak.”
“Does Her Majesty the Empress Dowager… have any underlying health issues?”
As she asked, Anette closely watched the lady’s expression.
She thought it was possible she wouldn’t be told the truth, since she was still considered an outsider to the imperial family.
And indeed, the flicker of awkwardness and puzzlement that passed over the lady’s face told her everything.
The Empress Dowager had no such illness.
“You don’t have to answer if it’s difficult.”
Anette didn’t voice her suspicion that she might have caused the Dowager to faint, trying instead to ease the lady’s discomfort.
But the lady—Serina—became visibly flustered upon seeing the expression on Anette’s face, which said she already knew the answer.
Strictly speaking, it was because of Anette—but not for the reason Anette assumed.
Still, as a servant, Serina couldn’t speak freely about her superiors without permission.
And above all, her mistress was the Empress, not the Empress Dowager, making it even more inappropriate.
As she looked at Anette, who stood there with a dejected expression and downcast eyes, Serina felt so sorry she wanted to stomp her feet in frustration.
She silently vowed to speak to the Empress and help clear up this misunderstanding.
Sigh…
Anette was burdened by the thought that she might have caused the Empress Dowager’s collapse.
The Dowager probably hadn’t liked her from the very beginning.
She had treated her graciously and with composure, not because of affection, but as part of her noble conduct.
How foolish it had been to think the Empress Dowager might have held some fondness for her.
And to think she just kept eating without manners, only offering the last cookie belatedly—how appalling it must have looked.
Anette felt so disappointed in herself. The thought of going back to her room alone already made her feel suffocated.
“Um, Lady-in-waiting.”
“I’m Serina, Your Highness. Please speak comfortably.”
“Ah… Serina, is there a place nearby where I could take a short walk?”
Having been confined in a separate palace for so long, Anette didn’t like enclosed spaces.
She actually felt more comfortable sleeping outdoors in tents.
When she listened to the clamor of her subordinates outside, it felt like a lullaby—and made her feel like a part of the crowd, like a normal person.
“If it’s a bother, you don’t have to grant the request.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted it.
She remembered belatedly that the Empress had ordered the palace routes cleared of staff during the Empress Dowager’s visit.
If she were spotted wandering around like this, it could become a problem.
As expected, Serina hesitated before answering.
“Truly, it’s fine. Let’s just head back to my quarters.”
“Um, Princess!”
“…?”
“There’s a back garden not far from here. I think it should be okay. Only members of the royal family are allowed there.”
“What? But then… wouldn’t I not be allowed in—?”
“No! Her Majesty the Empress commanded us to treat you as if you were of the Imperial Family. So it should be fine!”
Normally, permission should have come first, but Serina spoke with confidence.
She had long served the Empress and knew very well how fond she was of the princess standing before her.
Of course, she also felt protective, seeing the small, young-looking princess back down so quickly with such a hurt face.
“Then… please.”
And so, Anette was guided to the garden by Serina.
On the way, she kept thinking about the Empress’s command.
Did the Empress truly see her as family, just like the Emperor had said?
‘Why do they act like it’s a given that I’ll marry the Grand Duke of Harzent, no matter what form I’m in?’
They seemed to believe so firmly in the betrothal that even Anette felt uneasy.
Ah…
At that moment, Anette finally understood why she felt this unease. And why she so badly wanted the Alcan royals to like her.
She had thought it was just fear—that her real body might never return, and the alliance might fall apart.
But that wasn’t it.
In just a single day since awakening in the Empire, she had realized something.
This place was different from the Hayworth Kingdom.
Here, no one frowned at the sight of her. No one averted their gaze.
Even her red hair—something her father the king loathed as much as her red eyes—was admired by the imperial maids, who called it a rare and special color.
Here, she felt hope.
That maybe she could live like a normal person, not as the cursed seed of a beast.
‘Maybe… I can live here without being hated.’
Of course, she didn’t harbor any foolish dreams that everyone would love her.
Just the absence of that familiar hostility was enough.
Throughout her life, the only positive emotion she had ever received was pity.
Even if they didn’t see her for who she was—even if they only saw her as the Grand Duke’s future wife—she didn’t care.
‘It’s always been like that anyway.’
Why would Sarah, the Queen’s lady, have gone through all that trouble for a newborn baby? It was all out of loyalty to the late queen.
Even the former commander of the royal knights—
“Do you think beast subjugation is some kind of joke? The late queen was healthy, yet she died giving birth to you. You have no right to be happy, nor to throw your life away so carelessly. Go back.”
He had once hated her for being the child of the woman he served.
But even he had eventually said—
“I was wrong. The late queen would’ve wanted you to be happy…”
—and passed down his title to her.
Never once in her life had Anette been acknowledged as a person in her own right. So she didn’t mind.
All she wanted now was to remain in the Alcan Empire, to become the Grand Duke’s wife as soon as possible.
Even if he hates me…
“We’re here, Princess. No one should be inside, so feel free to look around.”
After guiding her to the garden entrance, Serina explained that the Emperor would be busy with affairs of state and the Crown Prince would be in class, so the place should be empty.
She said she’d go inform the Empress about Anette’s visit to the garden.
Left alone, Anette quietly stepped into the secluded garden.