The Graham Duke’s office, without its master, was steeped in silence. Sitting on a sofa in one corner, I waited with tightly sealed lips for Duke Ains Graham to return to his office.
Anxiety and unease enveloped me. I had to meet Duke Ains Graham today. There was something crucial I needed to say to him.
Time always seemed to crawl, but today it was excruciatingly slow.
After what felt like an eternity, the doorknob finally turned with a click in the otherwise silent office.
I had been staring at my hands, head bowed, but the sound made me stand up reflexively. Soon, the door opened and a robust man entered. It was Ains Graham.
“…You’re here,” I said.
Ains, realizing my presence belatedly, looked up at me.
“Why are you here?” His voice was chilling. I flinched and instinctively shrank back.
“I thought I told you not to come into my office.”
Ains began to approach me slowly. The sound of his steps made me take a half-step back without realizing it. He stopped in his tracks, frowning when he saw my reaction.
“So, what brings you here?”
His voice remained devoid of any emotion. I opened my mouth to speak, then closed it again. The words I had rehearsed over and over while waiting for him wouldn’t come out easily.
But today, I had to tell him.
“I have something to say.”
“And that is?”
“Please… let’s get a divorce.”
Ains paused, caught off guard by my abrupt statement.
“What brought this on all of a sudden?”
“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?”
Once I started speaking, the words I had prepared began to flow out.
“I’m tired too, of waiting for you to love me. You will never love me, so this waiting has always been pointless.”
As I finished speaking, something surged within me, but I suppressed it as if I was holding my breath.
“I’ll give you the divorce you want.”
Ains looked at me with suspicion. But he couldn’t deny my words. After all, he had wanted a divorce ever since we got married.
I had always rejected his requests for divorce, hoping he might love me someday. Now that I was the one asking for it, he must be confused.
But I could no longer wait for his love.
More importantly, I had a reason why I had to choose divorce.
“But I have a condition.”
Ains let out a dry laugh, which almost sounded like a sneer.
“And what condition is that? Surely you’re not going to say you’ll do it in a few years or something.”
Ignoring his mocking tone, I calmly shook my head.
“No.”
“Then what?”
“…I want a substantial amount of alimony.”
“Alimony?”
Ains asked, incredulous. I nodded.
“Yes. This divorce is something you’ve wanted from the beginning. If we look at it, you’re the one at fault in this marriage. You haven’t fulfilled any of your marital duties.”
My heart pounded rapidly as I spoke. I could feel my fingertips growing cold, and I had to swallow dryly.
What if he refused to give me the money?
“How much do you want?”
“A million gold.”
I stated the amount I had calculated in my head multiple times.
“What? How much?”
Ains frowned deeply upon hearing the amount. I knew it too. Even for someone who ran the second-largest trading company in the empire, Graham Trading Company, a million gold was a hefty amount.
But it wasn’t entirely unrealistic.
As I mentioned, he was a man who operated one of the two largest trading companies in the empire. If he wanted to, he could come up with that amount.
To my relief, Ains began to stroke his lips and a small smile appeared.
“Did you think I’d try to hold onto you if you asked for a million gold?”
He seemed to think that my demand for alimony was just a ploy to keep him. But I genuinely needed the money.
“No. I really want a divorce. So if you prepare the money, I’ll divorce you immediately.”
Ains looked at me for a long time with narrowed eyes, as if he was trying to discern the truth of my words. His sharp gaze made my heart sink, but I managed to face him with an air of composure.
This courage was something I had gained from nearly ten years of knowing him. Should I be grateful to him for that?
“Alright. I’ll have it ready by tomorrow.”
After a long silence, Ains nodded and continued.
“I’ll handle the divorce papers once the money is ready…”
His voice trailed off ambiguously. Wondering why, I looked at him and saw him gesturing towards the door with his chin.
“I’d like you to leave my office now.”
“…”
His clear dismissal left me momentarily frozen. Then, I bowed my head. My tightly clasped hands were white and trembling slightly.
Hearing his words, I felt the last remnants of my illusions shatter completely. Yes, this was who Ains truly was.
When I first arrived at this mansion ten years ago, I was captivated by Ains’ kindness and warmth, and for seven years, I harbored feelings for him alone. During our three years of marriage, I constantly yearned for his attention, but he never looked my way again.
In truth, he had never once truly seen me. He always regarded me as a burden, wishing to cast me out every day. If it weren’t for his grandfather, the former Duke Graham, I might have been kicked out the moment he became the Duke.
Yet, I kept believing that one day, Ains would understand my feelings and finally look back at me. And now, here we were.
“I’m sorry for bothering you. I’ll be going now.”
I fled from Ains’s office, trying to run away. Once the door closed with a firm click, completely separating me from Ains, I leaned against the wall and slowly collapsed to the floor.
I had envisioned this moment of parting with him countless times in my mind. Each time, I imagined myself a tearful mess, but surprisingly, no tears came. Instead, I was filled with a profound sense of emptiness and self-doubt.
“Madam, are you alright?”
Rachel, the head maid, asked as I sat there, drained. I looked up at her and nodded.
“I’m fine. Can you help me up?”
“…Yes, I’ll take you to your room.”
“No, I think I need to see Grandfather first.”
“Yes, Madam.”
Ignoring Rachel’s worried gaze, I accepted her support and stood up. We began making our way to the room of Damon Graham, Ains’s grandfather and the former Duke.
“Wouldn’t it be better to tell the master the truth?”
Rachel spoke hesitantly after some time. I knew how difficult it had been for her to bring this up, having seen her open and close her mouth several times.
“…Even if the master is cold-hearted, wouldn’t he get you medicine if he knew you were ill?”
I shook my head at Rachel’s words.
“No, you know how Ains feels about me. Even if I tell him the truth, he won’t bat an eye.”
The sharp gaze Ains had given me before I left his office was still vivid in my mind.
Would he change if he knew I was sick? I had imagined it, but no matter how many times I thought about it, the Ains in my imagination never changed. If anything, he might mock me, thinking it was for the best.
And if I heard his mockery, I would truly lose the will to live. To him, I was nothing more than an annoying pebble, but to me, he was everything.
“It’s better to end it like this. If I get a substantial amount of alimony, I can buy the medicine myself.”
“…”
Rachel couldn’t argue with me anymore. Just as I had observed Ains for ten years, Rachel had seen us for the same amount of time and knew I wasn’t wrong.
“I’m sorry. I overstepped.”
Rachel’s voice was devoid of strength.
I smiled at her, appreciating her concern.
“No, I’m thankful for your worry. Ah, we’re here. Can you let Grandfather know I’m here?”
“Yes, Madam.”
Rachel knocked lightly on the door of Grandfather’s room. The sound of three clear knocks echoed from the wooden door.
“Is that you, Cecil? Come in.”
Before Rachel could speak, Grandfather’s voice came from inside. Rachel gave me an awkward smile, and I nodded in affirmation.
As the door opened, I saw Grandfather lying on the bed at the far left of the room.
“I’m here, Grandfather. How are you feeling today?”
I greeted him as I walked slowly to his side. He extended his hand towards me, and I held it gently with both of mine.
“I’m the same as always.”
“You need to stay healthy.”
Grandfather chuckled softly. Even my small worries seemed to bring him joy.
“So, you came at a different time today. You must have something to discuss.”
“…Yes.”
“What is it?”
His wrinkled eyes softened kindly.
Grandfather was a kind and good man. Ten years ago, after my parents died in an accident, he took me in when I was only fourteen. He was a great benefactor to me, and I wanted to tell him personally that I was leaving this house.
“I’m getting a divorce from Ains tomorrow.”
“…”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to see you anymore, so I came to tell you.”
“So, you’re finally divorcing.”
“Yes… I’m sorry.”
Grandfather squeezed my hand tightly and shook his head.
“You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I’m sorry for forcing you and Ains into a marriage that caused you so much pain.”
“No, it’s what I wanted too.”
I smiled at him, trying to convey that it was okay. He looked at me with a bittersweet expression.
“I’m sorry I can’t do anything for you in my old age.”
Grandfather kept apologizing to me. I comforted him and, seeing a servant bringing his snacks, I stood up.
Having said my goodbyes to the person I was most grateful to, it was truly time to prepare to leave.
—